Guy calls in an order for a family sized appetizer (Italian style nachos). I get the order, prep it, and have it waiting for him when he comes to pick it up. He chills inside, making small talk with me while I'm running his card. I run the card, hand him the receipts, and go to grab the food. I bring the food back, hand it to him, and say "have a good night".

Up to this point, it was a TOTALLY normal interaction. Until the worst thing to happen to anyone, happens. Apparently, in my haste of normal existence, I forgot to give him a PEN. A PEN. The holocaust had NOTHING on this moment right here. Now, you'd probably assume that he'd do what any normal, functioning person would do and ask me for one, but he didn't do that. Instead, he slides two credit card receipts on the bar towards me, with a single penny sitting on top of each paper. I glance down at it, then look up at him as he says those ill fated words:

"Next time, if you want a tip, you should probably give the person a pen." He says. I quickly turn around and grab a pen.

"my bad, I completely forg-" I try to say, but he cuts me off.

"No, no I already filled it out." As he scoots the receipts a bit closer to me.

I glance down at them again and notice that he hasn't actually filled anything out, he just scratched out the thermal paper with the pennies that he so kindly left for me through all the tip, total and signature lines. So, I just grab all the paper, pennies and all, crumple them up and throw them away while his look goes from being smug to confused to angry (with a quiet little "oh" when I threw it in the trash). Before he has a chance to speak, I quickly say "Well in that case, have a good night." and turn around and walk away before he gets to say anything back.

He leaves in a huff, and sure enough, 10 minutes later we get a phone call. I know exactly who it is, so of course I answer it, and it's the guy asking for a manager. I pass it off to the shift manager who was working that night (also my best friend, I'd already told him the story of what happened) and say "hey, sorry about this". I circle back 5-10 minutes later, and he's STILL on the phone in the office, and as I walk by, he's glaring at me through the glass. Sure enough, we give him a coupon that he never collects, I noticeably DON'T get fired.